Stillness, Awakening and ACISTE conference

Stillness, Awakening and ACISTE conference

I just completed a weekend retreat called Presence at the Center, a gathering of women committed to spiritual awakening.  If we wish to discover the innate happiness within us it is important to take time out of our lives to rest in our center – the deep stillness available within our hearts, but often clouded over by the demands, distractions and worries of modern  life.  Meditation retreats, especially those held with the added dimension of silence, offer a return to our Self.

I become very busy in those days when I have a retreat planned, especially if I am doing other events such as webinars or consulting with those who contact me with concerns related to their spiritual  process.  It is like riding a fast moving train for several weeks, and then skidding to a halt at the retreat center, where I need to find my own deep silence if I am to invite others into it.  Finding our Self is about Stopping!

Mental activity,  emotional upheavals, multiple engagements in our lives, the many voices surrounding us with expectations – all of these can fall away if we STOP, leaving us in the pure sweet awareness that has always been waiting in the center of the cyclone of our lives.  There is a place within each of us already still, accepting, and open to the quiet joy of being.

You may find when you are first silent there is an upheaval of mental activity, and even of unconscious material that arises.  Both meditation and energy work (such as yoga or  Qigong) open us to that which needs to be seen in order to be released, so that our subtle energy field  can become more free.  Release and insight bring growth and widen our access to inner harmony and relaxation.  Be patient with what arises as it is your own consciousness inviting you to meet, release and move toward awakening.  Suffering unwinds itself from our systems as we learn to meet our life experiences with equanimity and to meet ourselves with love.

Spiritual awakening has no religious preference and is open to all. It is not about a belief, or embracing a system or tradition, although these may offer some initiating practices that will bring an invitation to know Yourself.  Awakening is an intimate touching of our natural state of spirit embodied, a direct inner knowing of our connection with the All.  It cannot be languaged clearly, although poets and sages have found ways to offer pointers.  Unusual phenomena may arise  when we follow our longing to know our true nature, but ultimately the outcome is an awareness that consciousness is vast and unbounded, and a return into a form that knows  a deep relaxation into life.

I will be speaking at the ACISTE conference in Palm Springs the weekend of Oct. -20 -22 on Identifying and Supporting Spiritual Transformation.

Go to www.aciste.com for information about this event, designed to support people who are a spiritual awakening process. ACISTE is the Assn for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences.

 I hope to offer a one-day workshop  on Living with Kundalini the Monday following for people who are having kundalini experiences and  want to better understand the kundalini process..  Please drop me a note at kundinfo@mindspring.com if you would like more information.

Dear Anonymous,
I can't say if this is kundalini without knowing a lot more about you. But generally kundalini energy begins by what feels like an eruption of energy moving up the spine or from the feet and causing involuntary body movements. You are experiencing shifts of consciousness, which are often experienced in what is called "awakening" where one begins to experience themselves as pure consciousness and realize that everything is this, and where the boundaries seem to dissolve. This also happens sometimes when people use hallucinigins like LSD or mushrooms, or pot. Some people experience it in a way that is called disassociation by therapists, and this is a psychological condition that especially occurs when someone is under a lot of stress or anxiety or unconsciously wanting to avoid something that is difficult to face. It happens often to children who are being physically or sexually abused. And a few people just naturally tend to experience it. (These are kids who are called day-dreamers in school or who seem not quite present in their life). If these kinds of issues are up for you it might be wise to speak with a counselor or therapist. If not, and the experience is an aspect of spiritual awakening, perhaps if you stop doing any concentration practices and you get more grounded in the world -- making sure you eat well, avoid intoxicants or drugs, spend time walking in nature, doing physical activity i.e. sports or dancing, the phenomena may stop or become less frequent. Since it is already fading away I think there is a good chance it will pass, at least for the time being. However, in many cases once kundalini activates it does not stop moving through the body and one feels tingling, vibration, involuntary movements and other odd experiences at least occasionally. These do not harm you but they feel disorienting until you get used to them. You are also experiencing what yogis call sense withdrawal, where you do not feel clearly the sensations in your body. This is experienced when yogis do certain types of breathing and concentration practices and is part of the path of some yogas which lead to the realization of Self as pure consciousness.

Since you are young and starting school and since your experience is more about shifts of consciousness than energy events it seems possible you can move out of this experience if you just put your attention on other things. This is called "grounding". Getting more in touch with your body connected to the earth!

You ask where this is going. Ultimately a spiritual awakening leads to a felt sense of being in the world but not of it, although paradoxically knowing the body/mind as part of nature. It's a sense of being a spirit embodied. It opens up compassion and appreciation of beauty and love as well as an acceptance of what is. In the end it makes you feel kind of empty and quiet inside and this feels very free and open. But it usually dulls the drives and egoic motivations that are so much a part of western culture, and pulls one more toward a spontaneous and intuitive life lived in the moment. This experience happened very suddenly for Tolle, who I am very familiar with. But he was an older person at the time with his schooling behind him. Almost everyone else I have ever met or spoken to have spent years in this process, after awakening, and only gradually coming into a natural and comfortable life. If you feel you want spiritual direction and awakening at this time in your life I recommend you connect with the website www.adyashanti.org, as Adya is a teacher who speaks very clearly about the process of awakening in ordinary life. His books and tapes could be very helpful. These changes are much easier to deal with when you let go of fear and just see them as part of your own growth process; in the way that going through puberty changes you, so does the awakening of energy and consciousness.

If you want the experience to stop, the most useful things you can do are to take good care of your body , learn more about spiritual awakening, get involved in things that interest you, and stop doing any practices that seem to make you uncomfortable. You might try working in a garden or on cars, or baking bread -- concrete, sensate experiences. If you want to follow this new spiritual direction the suggestions are the same but you may also want to learn a little yoga (telling the teacher you need to ground!) and learn to relax with the process, substituting curiousity for fear.
I wish you well on your journey. Bonnie

Two-Day Kundalini Workshop Available
If you are having experiences with kundalini energy and would like a workshop that focuses on living with kundalini energy and sharing experiences with others I am planning a kundalini workshop Sept 24 and 25, 2011 in Ashland, OR. I will offer an overview of the process and approaches to harmonizing the energy as well as an exploration of the true function of kundalini arising -- the clearing process that opens you up to major shifts in perspective and the embodiment of an awakened life, the opening of the heart and the inner peace that is possible when this process completes itself. This is a two day program from 9 to 6, with 2-hour lunch breaks and will be limited to 12 participants. The fee will be $100. For more information and registration contact me (Bonnie) at kundinfo@mindspring.com. This program is offered instead of the retreat previously announced in this column. To get here you will need to fly into Medford OR, about 15 miles from Ashland.

Kundalini awakening triggers a releasing process for most people -- the clearing of the subtle or energy body. It is as if all of our conditioning, beliefs, and identifications are woven into our energy field and the heightened movement of kundalini is trying to clear out this field, leaving it open and relaxed and making consciousness less subject to holding positions, identifications and reactive patterns we have had all our life. When this shift to openness occurs the mind is more quiet and consciousness more present in the moment, more available to intuitive truth, more likely to move through the heart as love and compassion and appreciation for life. Kundalini awakening is not about power, except for the natural power that comes with authenticity and acceptance of what is, the power to be free of our personal conditioning. It is not about becoming "saintly" but about becoming present, relaxed and in tune with the earth and the natural potential of living in harmony with ourselves and others. When there is sincerity and a commitment to living from Truth each individual who truly awakens finds a unique way of expression in the world, coming from being in tune with an authentic movement deep inside. Some people find a deep healing of emotional and physical issues as the awakening unfolds, but often there is an amplification of challenges during the clearing process. It is as if everything comes up to be met, to be seen clearly and to be released.
Sometimes this clearing and energy awakening occurs before the shifts of consciousness called "awakening" or "realization", for many reasons such as a great shock, an emotional overload, a near-death experience, an intensity of devotion or meditation, doing energy practices such as QiGong, kundalini yoga, martial arts, Reichi, breathwork, yoga breathing practices,tantra or concentrated psychic work. Occasionally it activates in a dream, or with a strongly energetic transmission like Diksha or with a guru. This opening stimulates a great shift in the psyche, the energy field, sensitivity, the release of old memories and many other phenomena as defined on my website, www.kundaliniguide.com.
Sometimes this clearing and energy awakening unfolds after a shift of consciousness that might happen spontaneously or in a meditation retreat or lengthy practice. One might suddenly realize the "Truth" of who they are and feel absolutely free for a while, just open and joyful and connected to everything. Then the clearing begins later, and it is likely this person may feel they have "lost" something. But in fact this is the natural progression -- the passage between seeing the "Truth" and living from it in a stable way. It is like clearing out the house in preparation for moving to another country. Everything must be seen and dealt with. If there is a lot of trauma in the personal history this can be especially challenging and therapy may be helpful as old repressed material arises. If there is a heavy use of drugs or alcohol there can be much need of toxins to be released from the body. It may feel like an invasion but it is actually the true source of your being attempting to transform the old patterns and limitations created by conditioning in this life and perhaps even conditions brought in from other lives.

The more you can relax and allow this process space in your life, and the more you can release fear about it, the easier it will become and the more likely the possibility of noticing the bliss inherent in these energy releases and shifts. You may become more "vata" in the Ayurvedic way of seeing things (Indian medicine system), more light and airy and less focused. So grounding activities can be helpful such as being in nature, gardening, baking, and creative activities. If you are vegetarian it is important to get protein into your diet from beans and root vegetables. Ultimately it is about living on this earth while knowing you are spirit, rather than escaping into a transcendent dimension. You can't be free if you are trying to evade life. Freedom is knowing your true nature and living your human experience with no objections. Being willing to BE. For most people it takes some time to find their way to this quiet joy and presence and the alignment with the Truth they have realized.

I wish you all joy on your journey and that the moving process opens you up to a new world.

I will be offering a workshop in Ashland Oregon on May 14, and 15.2011 titled "Living With the Kundalini Process". This is a two-day event providing information useful to anyone experiencing kundalini energy or who works with others who experience it. The second day will allow time for personal exploration of your process. Ashland is a great town to visit and is famed for its theater and parks. There are many places to stay here. So contact me by April 30 if you plan to be here. My email is kundinfo@mindspring.com. The event will be $80 if prepaid. I can also be available for private sessions the Monday following if you request this.

The arising of kundalini energy can be a life-changing event. For some it is felt as a very positive and beautiful opening which heightens the senses and the ability to clear the mind and feel great joy and gratitude in life. But eventually for most it triggers a de-construction of our way of perceiving our world, our concepts and belief systems. It supports a shedding of old ways of being and old patterns locked in our system from our conditioning and the difficult experiences of our past. We can feel like we are coming apart and losing our sense of self -- which we are. In some people this energy movement and the subsequent deconstruction is a very gradual process, supported by our meditation process and even psychotherapy if we are involved in that. But for others it seems sudden and chaotic and therefore frightening. It helps greatly to have an understanding of how this process works to our greater benefit, and to discover that at the core we are not the personal self we have tended to identify with. When we realize what we truly are it is called "waking up" or "self-realization" -- it is the realization of what really exists behind the personal self that is not ever going to change or dissolve. But it can be very disarming for the mind to get glimpses of this because the mind's functioning as director of our lives is threatened. We begin to see we are not our thoughts and become less inclined to believe them, less likely to be distracted when they arise. Something else that is indefinable arises within us that is much more attuned to the moment, to the impersonal experience of now.

When someone awakens out of the dream of the separate self the kundalini process works more subtly in the background, and if there are energies releasing, or burning off old conditioned blocks in our psychic system we feel appreciative and curious rather than frightened, because we can clearly see the function is to make us more free and open and harmonious within.

Eastern spiritual systems set up this process of awakening as a goal of all practices, and see it as the greatest gift in any life. Buddhist monks take a vow to liberate all beings. Why would we need to be liberated? Because this is the only way to clearly see the source and radiance of all existence and to live in harmony with it. This lack of clear perception, and our entanglement in all the fears, rages and greed that overwhelms the planet, is the cause of suffering. Getting free of it is not an easy task, but our energy bodies are designed to lead us there. Eastern practices deliberately aim at opening these bodies along with shifting us out of our mind so that we can see the Truth. But thousands of people have this energetic opening without any conscious attempt to trigger it -- it happens for many reasons that the energy activates and begins the process of transmuting itself into a new clarity and presence in the world.

It is clear that some people write about kundalini as a danger or a dark force. This is because they do not understand the highest potential for transformation that it offers, and instead see only the destructive experiences it brings for some. Also, like any energies on the planet, a few people work to use it for power and manipulation of others. There are specific dark techniques for this, and those who use them generally end up in trouble psychologically, spiritually, physically and karmically. They are not happy and useful contributors to the society. They have twisted their lives out of fear and a drive for power, in the same way that nuclear energy has been used for total destruction out of fear and a drive for power.

If you are in an experience of intensified and rising energy it is not inherently dangerous. It is a neutral force of transformation and change. If your intention is health, well-being, freedom, love, and above all the longing to know what is True this energy will support those changes.

If you are driven by fear, anger, revenge, and a need for power over others the energy may end up wearing you down completely and distorting the true potential of your life. This is not to say that some fear in the process is natural. But to the extent you can turn it to curiousity, or even trust in the vast potentiality of the universe it will become only another energy to release, letting you become vulnerable to the grace of knowing who you really are.