Are You in An Awakening Process?

Every week I speak with several people who have entered a process of transformation. Usually their energy has accelerated and their bodies are moving or vibrating in ways that startle, surprise or frighten them, because the energetic aspects of a spiritual awakening are not discussed or explored in most spiritual traditions. And yet, we are all facets of consciousness living within biological and molecular structures. It is natural for any significant changes in how we view our self and the world to have an impact on our energy systems, as well as the way in which our consciousness operates. As our vehicle changes, consciousness gains new ways of expression through us. Awakening brings changes in every aspect of our lives and even the functioning of our brain. Meditation slowly reconstructs us, as does energy work, long-term yoga or Qigong practice, and even serious physical or emtoional trauma.
            The fact is every cell of our body is always dying and rebirthing itself as you know from the fact your body is not the same today as it was at age 1 or 10 or 20 or 40. These changes evolve slowly so we do not notice them day to day, but it is certainly clear after a few years that we no longer look the same, that our consciousness lives inside a continual state of change. In fact I have heard it said that we as humans are more like active verbs than nouns, being in continual movement. The seeking of self-realization is the seeking of that within us that never changes, while all else is in motion.
            When we have longed for Truth or God or simply to know who we are, it initiates a subtle change in our direction in life, and we adapt practices we hope will offer us new revelations, outside of our traditional cultural patterns. We may imagine a change that is beautiful and expansive and that will make us a happier person than we are when we begin. What we don’t often realize is that while these new possibilities arise, they do so because old patterns are being dissolved, previous belief structures are being torn apart, and conditioned experiences that block our capacity for freedom are being exposed, so that we can see them clearly and realize they are not the Truth of who we are. Awakening is either preceded by or followed by a necessary demolition project, just as a house may be rebuilt from the ground up.
            What makes this most challenging is we don’t get to see the plan before hand, or have any control over the pace and style in which it will be rebuilt. It takes a great trust in the infinite, and the goodness of the universe. I suppose this is why many people get a glimpse of the radiant love or beauty or peace of Oneness first, and then feel they have lost it when the demolition project begins. We have to trust in this glimpse, that it was valid and real, and learn to navigate the process it initiates.
            My websites and current books “The Kundalini Guide and “The Awakening Guide” on amazon are designed as supports for this journey and my new book “When Spirit Leaps: Navigating the Process of Spiritual Awakening” is moving toward publication next June by New Harbinger Press. It has excerpts from many stories of the ups and downs you may experience as you awaken. It has been the unexpected direction of my life to meet many who are in this process and be part of a movement toward changing consciousness that all of us are living in. While the World has many challenges today (and when has it not?) there is a subculture seeking Truth and love and understanding of how to be more complete in our human expression of this sacred opportunity for life that we share. I see our consciousness as wanting to help us grow into a true understanding of our relationship to one another. Awakening is not about dissolution into transcendent ethers and leaving our world. It is about bringing light to one another and evolving ourselves so that we are free of the many conditions that block our natural capacity to express human kindness, wisdom and freedom.
            I encourage you to join me at the 2017 Science and Nonduality Conference Oct 19 to 22 in San Jose, CA along with multiple other speakers familiar with awakening. It is a place to find your tribe, and understand the process you are part of if you are awakening or longing to awaken. You can learn more about this gathering at www.scienceandnonduality.org.

Awakening is Like This

In awakening there is a moment of falling into the Center when all the veils are dropped, the mind stops, awareness is simply aware of Being as itself, and it feels as if there are no boundaries – no boundary of my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my separateness. It is like there is no me or my – no one --  only this.  It can happen like a flash or it can last a few minutes, hours or days.

This is not the end of your spiritual evolution however, although it can mean the end of searching.  If you are someone who has had a drive for years to know god or truth or just to feel free -- this moment changes that, because you have a sense there is no one here that needs to know or be free or have any other experience.  There was always just this.

MORE THAN KNOWING WHO WE ARE

But enlightenment, and clearly enlightened living, is not simply knowing who you are, knowing yourself as radiant vastness or freedom or love or whatever else unfolds after awakening.  It is an unfolding process that impacts the mind, the emotions, and the energy field.  It is the release of any sense of division – having no sense of longing for an altered state and no belief in a problem with the world. It is discovering an irrational part of yourself where everything is ok, and happiness rests, even when things are not going well in the external activities of life.  For most people this equanimity does not come automatically after awakening but takes some years to evolve, and during that time there is a periodic reappearance of old patterns, and a gradual clearing away of the conditioning, beliefs, emotions and attachments that they carried in their life.

MOST TRADITIONS PREPARE

In many spiritual traditions students work deliberately to prepare for these changes with practices that teach balancing and harmonizing energy, monitoring the diet, controlling the stimulations, developing compassion, teaching detachment, opening the heart and doing many other practices.  But for most westerners these kinds of practices have been random if at all, and for someone who has a spontaneous awakening they may never have even heard of awakening before it happens to them.  So they can feel some confusion and upheaval when they return to their lives.
It’s rather like the movie “Truman” where people live in a perfectly controlled bubble without knowing it and then when he breaks out it is a whole different world.  Our relative world does not change but our perception of how it works changes.  We see a much larger picture.  Nothing exists quite the way it seems.
So there are many adjustments that follow an awakening process.
If a lamp had awareness it might believe it is dependent on a person who turns it on for its light, and be content with that.  But suddenly now it realizes there is electricity running through it and that it is connected to a source with a universal power. It might feel different about itself and where its light comes from.

THINK OF YOURSELF AS AN ENERGY GRID

You are wired from birth to fit into your family, culture, religion, etc.  Every experience you have had is somehow wired into your system
Kundalini activation is the clearing of all the old patterns and the rewiring and opening of your energy field to a new way of experiencing.  The early yogis and the Chinese Taoists and probably other primitive cultures discovered energy could be worked with directly to bring someone into altered states of consciousness and cause changes in the body/mind system.

Energy is the creative life-forming aspect of consciousness.  So if your consciousness changes your energy will also.  And this is why people often report involuntary movements, interior sensations, vibrations, inner sounds, heat rising and other strange experiences if they are doing energy or spiritual practices.

THE WAY THE MIND WORKS CHANGES

The way the mind works changes as well.  This is why there can be periods of cloudiness, or sharp shifts in the senses and perceptions, and the falling away of old habits and interests and even a sense of emptiness after an awakening, because the old patterns no longer dominate you.  Eventually the self-judgment and criticisms of self and others dissolve – what Freud called the superego – that little voice that is always on your case.

Emotional Patterns change as the energy changes.  But first, they arise – and you can have mood swings, even getting caught in emotions that you find no reason for, as if they are belonging to another life, or the universal field.  In time emotional reactivity ends, although there can still be deep feeling and compassion.  It just passes through, rather than sticking. It is the impersonal and unconditional love and compassion of a greater source that can move through you as the energy of awakening moves through the heart once the armoring has fallen away.

THE FORMLESS AND THE FORM

There is a formless aspect to awakening – you move into a sense of vastness and pure presence at times, and feel you are not identified with yourself in the way you were in the past.  And there is a return into form, which leads to an authentic expression of the uniqueness you are.  You discover this and move into it, rather than deciding it the way you might have in the past.  Forms – these bodies –  go through specific transformations in this process in order to support your ability to access deeper qualities of presence and peace, and for your mind to grow in clear perception.

Our forms are made of the energies of consciousness.  We as molecular structures are primarily energy and space.  Enlightenment, in my perspective, is the capacity to feel free as both and to live as an authentic expression of our deepest Truth.

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Stillness, Awakening and ACISTE conference

Stillness, Awakening and ACISTE conference

I just completed a weekend retreat called Presence at the Center, a gathering of women committed to spiritual awakening.  If we wish to discover the innate happiness within us it is important to take time out of our lives to rest in our center – the deep stillness available within our hearts, but often clouded over by the demands, distractions and worries of modern  life.  Meditation retreats, especially those held with the added dimension of silence, offer a return to our Self.

I become very busy in those days when I have a retreat planned, especially if I am doing other events such as webinars or consulting with those who contact me with concerns related to their spiritual  process.  It is like riding a fast moving train for several weeks, and then skidding to a halt at the retreat center, where I need to find my own deep silence if I am to invite others into it.  Finding our Self is about Stopping!

Mental activity,  emotional upheavals, multiple engagements in our lives, the many voices surrounding us with expectations – all of these can fall away if we STOP, leaving us in the pure sweet awareness that has always been waiting in the center of the cyclone of our lives.  There is a place within each of us already still, accepting, and open to the quiet joy of being.

You may find when you are first silent there is an upheaval of mental activity, and even of unconscious material that arises.  Both meditation and energy work (such as yoga or  Qigong) open us to that which needs to be seen in order to be released, so that our subtle energy field  can become more free.  Release and insight bring growth and widen our access to inner harmony and relaxation.  Be patient with what arises as it is your own consciousness inviting you to meet, release and move toward awakening.  Suffering unwinds itself from our systems as we learn to meet our life experiences with equanimity and to meet ourselves with love.

Spiritual awakening has no religious preference and is open to all. It is not about a belief, or embracing a system or tradition, although these may offer some initiating practices that will bring an invitation to know Yourself.  Awakening is an intimate touching of our natural state of spirit embodied, a direct inner knowing of our connection with the All.  It cannot be languaged clearly, although poets and sages have found ways to offer pointers.  Unusual phenomena may arise  when we follow our longing to know our true nature, but ultimately the outcome is an awareness that consciousness is vast and unbounded, and a return into a form that knows  a deep relaxation into life.

I will be speaking at the ACISTE conference in Palm Springs the weekend of Oct. -20 -22 on Identifying and Supporting Spiritual Transformation.

Go to www.aciste.com for information about this event, designed to support people who are a spiritual awakening process. ACISTE is the Assn for the Integration of Spiritually Transformative Experiences.

 I hope to offer a one-day workshop  on Living with Kundalini the Monday following for people who are having kundalini experiences and  want to better understand the kundalini process..  Please drop me a note at kundinfo@mindspring.com if you would like more information.

Awakening & Embodiment Webinars & Retreat

I haven't kept up this blog very well and write more often on shantiriver.wordpress.com on living with an awakening experience.
But I am happy to announce I am now offering webinars to bring together people from diverse states and countries who would  like support in their spiritual awakening process. These are the upcoming webinars and programs I plan to offer between August and November through www.zoom.us.   They are great ways to connect with those who will understand your kundalini process.  Contact  with me for fees and other information through email: shantiriver@gmail.com

 Awakening and Embodiment – session 2 –  4 weeks, Thursdays, August 11,25  Sept 8, 22 ( 12 noon—1:30  Pacific time )  
This is an on-line satsang and sharing for those intending to deepen their spiritual practice, support others interested in awakening to our true nature, and explore how to live from a new perspective of awakened intuition and inner autonomy.

Living with Kundalini --  weekly for 6 weeks – Fridays Aug. 19 -- Sept. 23  a.m. PST)          
This program and supportive group is designed for people who are going through a kundalini awakening process and wish to meet others having this experience while learning classical and modern perspectives of Kundalini, the kinds of experiences and challenges this process brings, and methods of living more comfortably with it while awakening to the transformation it offers.

 Therapist and Teacher training for Kundalini Awakening – 4 Sessions Fridays Oct 14, 28, Nov, 11 and 18 (12noon – 2 p.m. PST)
 If you have taken The Living with Kundalini program at any time you are eligible for the therapist/teacher training which will focus more on identifying the kundalini process in a client or student. You will learn how to use the preliminary questionnaire to assess and understand where to focus in a consultation, the impact of the background and spiritual practices on the experience and how to support this process.  There will be time to discuss cases and learn from one another’s experience.

A FALL RETREAT IN OREGON --  PRESENCE AT THE CENTER  -Sept 2-5, 2016
This 4-day/3-night non-dual silent meditation retreat will be held Sept 2-5 at St Rita’s Retreat Center in Gold Hill, Oregon, a few miles from the Medford OR airport. It is an opportunity for meditation and reflection on awakening, experiencing silence,  guided meditations and teachings related to awakening to the presence of our true nature, You may also hike in a beautiful  60-acre setting with a labyrinth and waterfall. Journal, or participate in Qigong and sound meditations. Retreat is designed to support your deepest intention for awakening to the Truth of your own Being, and bringing that awareness into your everyday life. We will meet at 4 p.m. Friday (arrive 2-4) and close at 2 Monday.  The fee is $275 is paid by August 15.  This includes a comfortable double room with a bath, vegetarian meals, and all expense

ACISTE CONFERENCE IN PALM DESERT, CA                                           Oct 20-22, 2016
I will be speaking on Therapeutic Issues of Spiritually Transformative Experiences at this conference  of an organization related to Spiritually Transformative Experiences at the Doubletree Inn is scheduled Oct 20-22.  Go to www.aciste.org for details.  I am considering doing a kundalini and awakening workshop following the conference in Palm Desert while I am there.  If you would be interesting in attending a program with me at that time and place – Oct. 23-24 – please let me know by sending me an email.

Chakra Experiences in the Awakening Process

I've been seeking a deeper understanding of the chakras this week, preparing for the second class of my new webinar program on Living With Kundalini.  I've started this webinar to bring people together from all over the world who are living with spiritual awakening, most of whom have felt isolated in the process.  There are 21 people in the current class, from parts of Europe, the U.S. and Canada, and now that I am learning to navigate the internet meeting approach, I can see the many gifts of bringing people together in this way, and I hope to offer more classes.

            There are many books and discussions of chakras, and it can be overwhelming to sort out how they actually impact a person's direct experience.  I am reframing  this understanding in a way  that  I feel will be most useful for those going through a spiritual emergence,  or who are in a kundalini process.  So I've woven my own perspective of watching thousands go through awakening, with the classical  teachings of Kundalini Tantra, and written an essay for my website www.kundaliniguide.com. It's called Chakra Experiences in the Awakening Process.

            Having so much information about chakras can be confusing, and often it is very esoteric, so a reader misses the profound implications of how their function actually relates to spiritual awakening.  For example, the second chakra, which is usually understood as related to sexually and procreation, is also the seat of deep collective unconscious material.  So if in your awakening there is an eruption of demonic images, or overwhelming fear, it is likely there is energy being released as kundalini moves through this area. If a few weeks earlier you have had a blissful opening to expansive bliss (6th chakra) you may be shocked and appalled to find these darker energies appearing in dreams, visions, or emotional upheavals.

             Chakras, with all their symbols, represent vortices of energy where  physical and subtle bodies intersect with consciousness, and each of the seven usually identified as most significant in spiritual awakening, have unique energies and hold patterns in our psyche.  A few of these, from the base upward, are our foundational sense of being in a body (1st), our sexual and collective  instinctual energies, (2nd) our sense of power and capacity in the world (3), our ability to love, be creative and feel compassion (4th),  our potential to discriminate and deal with the opposites (5th), and our capacity to know cosmic consciousness and our true nature (6th and 7th).

Various spiritual traditions focus on different chakra areas for awakening but ultimately everything we hold comes to the surface to be transformed and awakened as well. We might wish this would happen in an orderly fashion but it does not -- energy returns over and over to complete deeper levels of clearing in our bodies.

            So if you wish to understand more about how your chakras are related to you own spiritual awakening, or if  you just  you wonder how they might influence how you function in everyday life,  you may want to read the new essay on my website: Chakra Experiences in the Awakening Process.

Physical Challenges With Kundalini Awakening

As Kundalini energy moves through the body various issues, even pain, can arise in chakra areas.  Usually a person who has activated kundalini has not prepared themselves in the ways recommended in classical kundalini yoga.  Some systems say 12 years of preparation is required before the energy is awakened if all is to move smoothly, and this is done through physical cleansing practices, strict diet requirements, gradually adding more advanced breathing practices, sitting in specific yogic styles, and releasing various egoic tendencies through obedience to the teacher and system. It is clear that 99% of those who activate this energy have not done these kinds of preparations and are not interested in doing them. In some cases, yogic masters say that a person who has activated energy spontaneously must have done lifetimes of work previously for this to happen. But our present bodies have not been present during all those lives, so they need adjustments and releases. 

My perspective is that many factors come into play to cause a person to be available to this opening (which I have enumerated on my website and in my books) but most often there is a long and gradual process as the subtle body energies, physical body, and psyche adapt to this new energy flow. One must be patient and take time to address old psychological issues and to adjust their life to the new patterns the kundalini energy is calling for.  So when there is pain in the body that doctors find no reason for or heat arising, or strange  blockages where energy seems to be stuck this is because some clearing is needed since it was not done before the awakening.  Some spiritual seekers believe that an awakening will erase all past psychological issues, but if this should happen it is only temporary. Some old beliefs, preferences and habits will fall away or transform, but deeper issues will then come to the surface, and the energy must return to clear the blocks that were created by these experiences.  For an awakening to become stable and comfortable it appears that we have to see through all our old patterns, holdings and attachments, recognizing they are not definitions of who we are.  Until this happens we are likely to feel divided, or caught in "I got it. I lost it" syndrome, seeming to fall in and out of positive awakened states.
One commenter asked about pain in the neck and shoulders that seems to have no medical source.  This is the area of vishuddha, the throat chakra. There are several possibilities for this kind of pain.  Energy is often blocked here because most of us spend a lot of time holding back our self-expression or our emotions. It's as if everything unsaid is locked into our subtle energy field.  Sometimes spiritual seekers believe they should never feel anger, and so when something outrageous happens to them they swallow their feelings in order to be "spiritual" and forgiving.  I met one person who seemed to have tourette's symptoms as his face jerked spontaneously, but once he released anger these problems went away.  One does not need to act out the anger, but simply find a safe way to move it out of the body through expression by yelling (at no one) or writing and just fully acknowledging it.
Another reason for pain may be an old injury that has been locked in the system and needs to be released.  Kundalini seems to be trying to remove anything tight or damaged in the body. Some call these blocks. Wherever your energy seems stuck and keeps returning to with jerks or discomfort over and over is generally seen as a block, caused by physical or emotional holding from issues in this life or possibly a previous life.  Sometimes it is even an issue related to your birthing experience, or your mothers experience when you were in the womb. Also a stiff neck may be caused by the way it has been held for years, and gentle body work can help to open it.  Cranial-sacral work or acupressure might be useful.
In yoga there are 3 major "granthis" or "knots" in the body which must be released in this process. These are believed to be points where the power of ignorance and attachment is particularly strong.  One is in the solar plexis area, where we are attached to pleasure, material things, and having things go our own way; the second is in the heart area where we are attached to our emotions, certain people, our personal visions and passions; the third is in the the third eye area where a person may open and then become attached to psychic powers and attribute them to their personal identity.

So as energy moves through to change consciousness and make your energy field as open as possible, these are a few of the clearing challenges that may arise.  They can be addressed through therapy (if it is rooted in a past traumatic experience), using sounds such as the Bij mantras to open chakras, yoga postures that are for stretching and relaxing that area, meeting the pain directly with presence and love, guided imagery, acceptance and surrender and in other ways that you might intuitively discover.  Taking good basic care of the body is important in this process and releasing personal demands that life be just the way you want it -- learning to live in the flow of the river -- as the Taoists say-- is helpful.  This is why quieting the mind or at the least not being driven by thoughts, can be helpful.  Our thoughts are often focused divisively, telling us what is wrong and worrying about it, blaming us and others for it. Bring awareness down into the heart or the belly and see if you can be present more fully where you are at any moment.  This calming will support the opening of intuition which may be able to suggest some new directions to resolve those challenges in your process.

Living With Kundalini Weekend Workshop

You are invited to join a small group program on 

Living and Thriving After Kundalini Awakening

with Bonnie Greenwell 

August 28, 29, and 30 in Ashland, Oregon.

LOCATION: SHANTI RIVER CENTER, 300 E, Hersey, Suite 2 Ashland Or.

HOURS: Aug 28, 7 P.M. TO 9 P.M. & 9 A.M. TO 6 P.M. AUG 29 & 30 -- 2015

$200 fee, plus you may arrange your own housing. Details to be sent on request.

Bonnie is a transpersonal psychologist and a non-dual teacher in Adyashanti's lineage who has worked with spiritual emergence and kundalini issues for over 30 years and is the author of "Energies of Transformation: A Guide to the Kundalini Process", "The Kundalini Guide" and "The Awakening Guide" Please contact her at kundinfo@mindspring.com if you wish to register for this special program.

This valuable weekend workshop will help you understand and gain positive tools for living with the activation of kundalini energy.

The opportunities in this small group include

·      Discussing your concerns and questions with others who understand because they have had this experience.

·      Hearing both yogic science perspectives and modern interpretations of the inner revolution triggered by the kundalini process

·      Finding clarity about the function and purpose of this awakened energy

·      Learning tools for helping your mind, body and spirit live more comfortably and harmoniously with spiritual awakening.

·      Discovering the grace of fulfillment in the kundalini process.

You will be responsible for finding your own housing for this program, which is held in a charming tourist town with numerous hotels and B and B's. To fly you would come to the Medford, OR airport, 14 miles from Ashland. Information on housing and travel will be sent with registration confirmation.

The Crucible of Relationship in Spiritual Emergence

So perhaps you have had a shift of energies and perspective, and you are wondering how it will impact your significant relationships. You seem to no longer be caught in old familiar patterns and you are facing non-ordinary energetic rushes, emotional clearings, internal vibrations and a sense that nothing really matters in the way it used to.  And now your partner is wondering what has happened to you and why you are changing.

There are several levels of spiritual awakenings but the two shifts that have the most challenging impact on relationship are the awakening of kundalini energy, which plunges your energetic system into many new phenomena, and the realization of consciousness in its vast and unbounded state of being the All, which transforms your understanding of who and what you are.

The shifting in energies, called kundalini awakening, changes how you feel, as it revs up and redirects subtle energies, shaking out the body, raising heat, and sending out rivulets of bliss or spasms of pain.  The subtle body is restructuring itself, releasing old contractions, moving you from one emotion to another, even triggering moments of unfathomable sadness or irrepressible joy.  Whatever you were like before this arising of kundalini you are not the way you were, and this is very disconcerting for the family and friends. In addition they may sense your energies and be uncomfortable around them, and be upset that you have lost interest in sex and socializing.  You will very likely feel that no one understands what you are going through. (This in itself is an important concept to release -- that you need to be understood.)

If you have had a spiritual realization, a sense that you are not your small identity but instead are an indescribable awareness (at least when you are living in the moment) the chances are you no longer feel needy, no longer want to carry on as if little things mattered, and no longer enjoy bonding by discussing mutual problems and practical issues around the house.  You may be drawn into nature, or meditation, prefer silence to the television or the social events, hate going into crowds and big box stores, and generally appear to be a different style of character than you were before the awakening.  Partners get alarmed when this happens.  Work may also suffer as you can't concentrate the way you used to, and care little about doing anything that seems superficial.

Although I could (and may) write a book on the many changes that might influence your relationships, for this moment I offer just a few suggestions for reorienting your life.

Understand you do not need to leave a relationship that holds value, love or meaning for you just because of these changes.  But if it is toxic, draws you into substance abuse, or feels abusive you may need to leave in order to sustain your sense of presence.  It is a false perception that someone who is enlightened ought to put up with anything.  Awakening can be a call to action as well as a call to acceptance.  In other words, you need to support your awakening by doing what feels right to you.  You need to take time to consider whether this is where you want to be -- for many reasons you may feel drawn to stay, and for others you may be drawn to go.  Just be sure if you want this relationship that you consider the following questions:

1.  How can I help my partner live more comfortably with the changes in me?

Even if you do not feel needy anymore (and many relationships are built on mutual need) you can want to be there -- because you feel respect, love, stability, partnership, mutual values related to your kids, or an opportunity to face the parts of you that are not yet awake!  Living with another brings up many hidden patterns within us that may not have shifted in the initial moment of awakening, and still need to be seen through as part of the old identifications.  If your partner senses you are no longer needy, let him or her know you want to be with them.

No matter how you feel, your partner may still need something from you.  What are you willing to give?  Let him or her know.  Be sensitive and supportive.  If you are in the energetic phase you may still need something from others -- what are you able to ask for and show appreciation for if it is given?

2. How can I speak of what is happening without using exotic and incomprehensible terms?

You can speak of the physical impact of your meditation practice being felt as energy, you can speak of mood shifts that feel a little disorienting and try to find a sense of humor about it, you can lean more toward curiosity than fear in speaking of the process, and you can be very clear that you do not need to be understood. Do not expect someone who has never experienced this to understand it.  If they are fearful it is because they care about you and want to fix it, but as you know they cannot.  This is very uncomfortable for people who believe they should fix things.  You may have to find new ways to approach asking for what you need from the relationship, and become very alert to how you can support them in adjusting to it.  Find someone to talk with that understands the experience, such as a spiritually oriented counselor or a friend on a similar journey.

3. Why is everything I used to care about falling away?

It is inevitable that old identifications and patterns collapse.  You may not have expected this when you began spiritual seeking, so now you are shocked.  But the old you was built on conditioning, defenses, distractions and memories that are no longer so relevant.  The needs of your body may be different -- for example, you may need to give up alcohol, mind-altering substances, red meat, over-stressing yourself physically or mentally,  and other patterns because you notice you feel lousy when you do them.  Your subtle and psychic energy is focused now in one direction, rising or descending through the chakras to promote healing and clearing of old beliefs, patterns, traumas and emotional wounds. Your energy field is more sensitive and picks up the fields of others more readily. Eventually in a full awakening there is a rising of internal energies (think of it as the life force) until there is a realization of your true essence, and consciousness awakens itself.  This is followed by a gradual coming alive of the body in a new way through which the transformed consciousness can be expressed.  In the process the sense of an "I" fades or becomes irrelevant and all it has been attached to gradually drops away.  The uniqueness of what you were, your preferences, and your skills are not lost but these are held more lightly.  Many relationships thrive with these changes but some cannot.  You will have to stay conscious in your relationship to help it endure, if that is what you wish.

4.  Can I use relationship to keep evolving?

Relationships with partners and families are primarily what will offer you opportunities to grow further, let go of more attachments, and develop compassion and sensitivity to the human condition.  No matter how awake you are or how distracted by the ups and downs of your spiritual emergence you are still located in a human body and human world.  Take time to lean into this as if it mattered, because to only be awake when you have escaped out of life is to only be half-free.

The heart opens when it breaks, the mind opens when it truly is present with another, and enlightenment stabilizes when you can be available to what is, free of compulsion but willing to meet the dance of creation however it is flowing for you.

When your anger or sorrow, irritability or demands, and other inconvenient emotions are triggered (after you thought they were gone forever) here is an opportunity to see what may lie still in the dregs of your unconscious waiting to be liberated. 

Relationship can be a significant part of the spiritual journey to wholeness and peace. It offers grounding.  It provides allies in the world of form and offers multiple ways of seeing into the delusions of thought.  The role of celibacy in the Indian tradition may be necessary for young men entering monastic orders, especially if they practice complex breathing and pranic energy exercises to activate energies.  However  marriages are an important aspect of life for many Buddhist masters, Sufi mystics and Cabbalists in the Jewish tradition as well as the scores or ordinary people who are awakening today.  What is important is recognizing what is right for you, and even this changes from time to time.  If you are in an awakening process it is time to recognize and honor your own autonomy by listening to your deepest Truth. Being at peace in relationship may be your final crucible.

Energies of Evolution

If you are having experiences of energy winding or rolling up your spine, creating involuntary spasms, and rippling in strange ways through your body, you are possibly one of thousands each year experiencing what is known as a kundalini rising or awakening.  You may feel frightened or disoriented by this non-ordinary shift, but if you can relax with it and understand it as simply a dynamic of your own evolution it can become a treasured ally on your spiritual path.

When we understand that all of creation is formed as molecular structures, mostly space and energy manifest in a multitude of forms, it becomes easier to meet the empty/spaciousness and the enhanced vibrational energies that appear in our bodies, and face all the changes they invite.

There are many reasons people suddenly have these shifts and awakenings.  Often an intense spiritual or energy practice will open the body to the heightened energy known as kundalini by the ancient founders of the yogic system.  Sometimes an intense concentrated period may activate this sleeping power, even such innocent practices as biofeedback, meditation, prayer, love-making, or the charge projected by the touch of another person who has this awakened energy. In the thousand reports I have collected over the last 30 years many people write of spontaneous awakenings, sometimes in moments of great interior stress,  or while using plant medicines or psychedelics, or while sitting in silence at retreats.  So if you are feeling as if your energy field has jumped from 110 to 220 or even 2200 you are not alone, although unfortunately you live in a culture that is totally unprepared to understand the power and potential of this experience.

If your experience plunges you into fear and anxiety, if it explodes you into ecstasy, or if it hits the brain centers that produce imagery you will likely be afraid you are losing your mind, and if you meet up with the wrong therapeutic model others will support this interpretation.  But some part of you will know this is real and it is meaningful, even while the mind freaks out about it. If you can just be curious and open instead of afraid and contracted this will help it calm down considerably. You need to nourish the witness within you, that which is simply aware.

Kundalini energy is an aspect of your own life force.  It is what happens when the normal pranic energy field or bioenergy of the body is infused with a powerful rush of energy from the base of the spine, the feet, or occasionally pours down into the body through the top of the head.  Naturally you are startled.  Even people in spiritual communities who have longed for awakening for years can be both astonished and terrified by this new dimension of interior activity.  It was a naive assumption that spiritual awakening would be a sweet, simple release into peace and harmony and improved character and life would be forever blessed.  It is true that awakening leads ultimately to peace and harmony, but it does so by stripping away every identification we hold dear, and releasing every old bit of suffering and confusion, all of which was held in our minds, bodies and subtle energy fields.  It tries to release all stressors and heal all wounds, in the process freeing us from our assumed self image and personal history.

I have come to see kundalini as essentially a clearing out process, and then an opportunity to live from clear seeing and presence, which doesn't change the content of life itself, but profoundly impacts our relationship to it.

Whether kundalini activation is sudden and traumatic, or slow and gentle, it is almost always a factor in a full spiritual realization process.  It may initiate the process of consciousness awakening, or it may fall into place after an initial shift of consciousness into the recognition of It's true relationship with what we might call Source or Universal Consciousness, (that which cannot truly be named, but we try!)  This might be called the non-dual experience, and to the mind it might feel empty and unbounded while to the spirit it is felt as unlimited spaciousness and dissolution into the whole (or some such image).  Utimately awakening is the stable recognition of what is awake in every moment here and now, and not the dramatic experiences, visions, insights, dramas and traumas that may accompany it for awhile.  All experiences will pass.  More will appear. Life is awakeness moving through experiences. Awakening helps us to take it more lightly, to feel peaceful even when we're not, and to find beauty in the every day forms we encounter.

If you are in an energy awakening process and would like to be part of a small-group weekend workshop in Ashland, Oregon, planned Aug. 28, 29 and 30 please let me know. I offer this program once every year or two and will be happy to send you more details.  My email is kundinfo@mindspring.com. You may also find helpful my new books "The Kundalini Guide" and "The Awakening Guide", available on Amazon and Kindle.