01 March 2017

Awakening is Like This

In awakening there is a moment of falling into the Center when all the veils are dropped, the mind stops, awareness is simply aware of Being as itself, and it feels as if there are no boundaries – no boundary of my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my separateness. It is like there is no me or my – no one --  only this.  It can happen like a flash or it can last a few minutes, hours or days.
This is not the end of your spiritual evolution however, although it can mean the end of searching.  If you are someone who has had a drive for years to know god or truth or just to feel free -- this moment changes that, because you have a sense there is no one here that needs to know or be free or have any other experience.  There was always just this.

But enlightenment, and clearly enlightened living, is not simply knowing who you are, knowing yourself as radiant vastness or freedom or love or whatever else unfolds after awakening.  It is an unfolding process that impacts the mind, the emotions, and the energy field.  It is the release of any sense of division – having no sense of longing for an altered state and no belief in a problem with the world. It is discovering an irrational part of yourself where everything is ok, and happiness rests, even when things are not going well in the external activities of life.  For most people this equanimity does not come automatically after awakening but takes some years to evolve, and during that time there is a periodic reappearance of old patterns, and a gradual clearing away of the conditioning, beliefs, emotions and attachments that they carried in their life.

In many spiritual traditions students work deliberately to prepare for these changes with practices that teach balancing and harmonizing energy, monitoring the diet, controlling the stimulations, developing compassion, teaching detachment, opening the heart and doing many other practices.  But for most westerners these kinds of practices have been random if at all, and for someone who has a spontaneous awakening they may never have even heard of awakening before it happens to them.  So they can feel some confusion and upheaval when they return to their lives.
It’s rather like the movie “Truman” where people live in a perfectly controlled bubble without knowing it and then when he breaks out it is a whole different world.  Our relative world does not change but our perception of how it works changes.  We see a much larger picture.  Nothing exists quite the way it seems.
So there are many adjustments that follow an awakening process.
If a lamp had awareness it might believe it is dependent on a person who turns it on for its light, and be content with that.  But suddenly now it realizes there is electricity running through it and that it is connected to a source with a universal power. It might feel different about itself and where its light comes from.

You are wired from birth to fit into your family, culture, religion, etc.  Every experience you have had is somehow wired into your system
Kundalini activation is the clearing of all the old patterns and the rewiring and opening of your energy field to a new way of experiencing.  The early yogis and the Chinese Taoists and probably other primitive cultures discovered energy could be worked with directly to bring someone into altered states of consciousness and cause changes in the body/mind system.

Energy is the creative life-forming aspect of consciousness.  So if your consciousness changes your energy will also.  And this is why people often report involuntary movements, interior sensations, vibrations, inner sounds, heat rising and other strange experiences if they are doing energy or spiritual practices.


The way the mind works changes as well.  This is why there can be periods of cloudiness, or sharp shifts in the senses and perceptions, and the falling away of old habits and interests and even a sense of emptiness after an awakening, because the old patterns no longer dominate you.  Eventually the self-judgment and criticisms of self and others dissolve – what Freud called the superego – that little voice that is always on your case.

Emotional Patterns change as the energy changes.  But first, they arise – and you can have mood swings, even getting caught in emotions that you find no reason for, as if they are belonging to another life, or the universal field.  In time emotional reactivity ends, although there can still be deep feeling and compassion.  It just passes through, rather than sticking. It is the impersonal and unconditional love and compassion of a greater source that can move through you as the energy of awakening moves through the heart once the armoring has fallen away.


There is a formless aspect to awakening – you move into a sense of vastness and pure presence at times, and feel you are not identified with yourself in the way you were in the past.  And there is a return into form, which leads to an authentic expression of the uniqueness you are.  You discover this and move into it, rather than deciding it the way you might have in the past.  Forms – these bodies –  go through specific transformations in this process in order to support your ability to access deeper qualities of presence and peace, and for your mind to grow in clear perception.

Our forms are made of the energies of consciousness.  We as molecular structures are primarily energy and space.  Enlightenment, in my perspective, is the capacity to feel free as both and to live as an authentic expression of our deepest Truth.